No. 32: Learning to live and play in the gray areas of your life
We grow in uncertain times, so why do we run away from it?
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First, some numbers…
20% - Increase in team productivity when playing a game instead of expensive team-building programs or retreats
52% - Over half of Americans want their children in a different school
100% by 2035 - California bans the sale of gasoline-powered cars after 2035
The elegance of the gray area
One of my guiding beliefs as a parent is: Life is hard. And shielding my children from reality would be a failing on my part.
As a corollary, uncertainty is built into life so get used to it.
A friend and I talked over drinks about the ability to live in the gray area. It’s discomforting when we live in the absence of certainty. Yet, our character and life skills are shaped in times of uncertainty. Whether as a student, future worker, and parent, learning to thrive when we are living through the grayer areas of our lives is a meaningful experience.
Human nature prefers certainty. The desire for certainty ranges from “what’s the weather today?” to “what is the best career for me?” We want fixed answers to elusive open-ended situations, however unrealistic.
Uncertainty is messy.
If we can resist that impulse for one right answer, if we can relax into that gray area, we may reach a place where that kind of thinking actually feels better. More true. Somehow more accurate, even in its imprecision. Because like so many other things in life, teaching humans is not an exact science, and doing it well requires nuanced thinking. It’s one of the main reasons real human teachers are still needed to teach our students, why our work can never be fully replicated by machines: our ability to process nuance.
Uncertainty looks weak.
One big downside to gray area thinking is that it can look weak. There’s a vulnerability that comes with admitting you don’t know something with 100 percent certainty; many people can’t handle that kind of exposure and would prefer to either remain silent or boldly state something as fact, even if they don’t have a very strong foundation to stand on.
Yet working in the gray area brings an elegance and openness to explore.
We’re going to try this. It will probably be imperfect. And when it is, we’re going to see if we can keep what works, change what doesn’t, and learn and grow from the experience.
The above excerpts were taken from “The Elegance of The Gray Area” written by educator Jennifer Gonzalez on Cult of Pedagogy
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But the fact is, the reality is all grey area. All of it. There are very few black and white answers and no solutions without second-order consequences.
- Shane Parrish, The Value of Gray Thinking
The consequences of not letting kids play
via Rebel Educator
Playful, creative, and disobedient kids are a big problem in the traditional school system.
How do you get them to sit down and do what they’re told?
We give kids who are absolutely determined to play (smart-alecks, big-mouths, class clowns, and slackers) Adderall or Ritalin. To quell playful behavior in classrooms, we use amphetamines chemically similar to meth. And, tragically, those drugs suppress — you guessed it — the play circuit.
Let’s zoom in on a key quote from that linked study: “We suggest that the effect of methylphenidate [Ritalin] on social play is a reflection of its therapeutic effect in ADHD, that is, improved behavioral inhibition. However, given the importance of social play for development, these findings may also indicate an adverse side effect of methylphenidate.”
Basically, the drugs only work because they make kids boring. The process by which kids best learn about the world is spontaneous and fun. It’s not an accident the drug works this way–it’s deliberate. And it’s a moral failing beyond belief.
Given what we already know about play (and the fact that rats who aren’t allowed to play have underdeveloped brains), this is so tragic it’s stunning. This catastrophe for kids really can’t be overstated.
If we want our kids to have better life outcomes (including wealth, health, and happiness), we must allow them to play.
Read more of “Kids Who Don’t Play Aren’t Ready for The Future of Work” via Rebel Educator
Why we love Kobe Bryant: he took the shot
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar pays tribute to Kobe’s willingness to take the shot fearless of his failure or success. Of course, Kobe’s legendary work ethic stacked his chances at success.
Kobe Bryant holds the record for most missed shots in NBA history. To some that’s a bad thing. To me, it means he wasn’t intimidated by missing, by losing, by failure. He didn’t hesitate by worrying, “What if I miss? What will the coaches think? The team? The fans?” He acted like the ultimate competitor: he took the shot.
To take the shot is to embrace failure and success at the same time. To miss so much and yet feel confident enough to shoot again and again embodies the best qualities of human beings: to imagine something beyond what is, beyond what you’ve ever been able to do, and to strive to make that a reality, no matter how many times you fail.
Read Kareem’s full tribute to Kobe
Image: Dean Bennett
Till next time…
The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.
- W. B. Yeats
Cover Image: Gabriel